According to Think Student, the average male in the UK leaves home at 25, and women aged 23. This is a considerably long time to have the in-house responsibility of looking after your children, and even more so if you’ve got children with staggered ages. Therefore, when they leave home, it will feel empty for a while and may leave you feeling a lack of purpose. However, not everything needs to be bleak; you can turn this into an opportunity to embark on new adventures.
Take Time Out
Having a child leave home will be busy and emotional, and you’ll likely feel exhausted afterwards. Therefore, you should treat yourself to a couple of weeks of “taking it easy”. During this time, stay up late eating treats and watching TV, and then sleep in at the weekends. Do you see that pile of washing to be done? Leave it alone. Embracing your freedom completely will help you adjust to life with an empty nest.
Communicate with Fellow Empty Nesters
If you’ve been living in the same area for a while, the chances are you know other people whose children have flown the coop. You should arrange a coffee morning with one of them and use it as an avenue to vent out your frustrations – you’ll be surprised how relieving it can be. Further, there are plenty of forums online filled with supportive people, such as Mumsnet.
Reconnect with Your Partner
When you have children, the chances are that you got into routines that didn’t account for “couple time”. Well, use your newfound freedom and get acquainted by adding spontaneity into your relationship and igniting that spark again. You may need time to adjust, so make sure you communicate with your partner to find out what needs improving.
Do Not Smother Your Child
When your child leaves home, they’re in the process of becoming a fully-fledged adult, which means they need their independence. It may be tempting to contact your child constantly to check on them, but this will only drive a wedge between the two of you. When you drop them off, arrange a time and date to have the first visit. After all, we live in the age of social media, and they’ll get in touch if they need you.
Find a New Adventure
Once you’ve adjusted to life without your children, perhaps it’s time to embark on a new adventure. For example, if you haven’t had time to focus on your career, there’s no better time to put all of your energy into it. Alternatively, if you enjoy caring for children and want to make a difference in people’s lives, you can visit fosterplus.co.uk and begin caring for those in need.
Having an empty nest for the first time in around 20 years will likely leave you with whiplash. So, take some time out to get reacquainted with your partner and hobbies. Remember, give your child some breathing room and they’ll turn to you sooner than you think.
This article was contributed to the Not In Jersey site. Thank you to the author.
